Tips for Parents of Children with Sensory Issues

When I look back over the arc of my parenting journey, there are a few moments that really stand out. Finding an occupational therapist who understood sensory integration was one of those moments. Wendy Sawicki in Falmouth Maine (HI Wendy!) talked and walked me through some key understandings about what my child needed.

And I had a big mindshift. That shift has shaped my family and my practice since.   

Before we can dive into the application of sensory processing issues informed parenting, we need to understand more about the sensory system and how it relates to child behavior.   I think about our sensory systems as if they were old fashioned telephone operator switchboards.   Our sensory system takes in the sights, sounds, tastes, touches and smells from the world around us. It also gives us feedback about our body in space. Our sensory system captures, files and sorts constant sensory input. Most of which happens at an unconscious level. If we have a sensory system that is unevenly developed, or was shaped by stress in utero or during highly stressful early years, then the system may amplify signals. Or the system may send them in unexpected directions. Or the system may tone them WAY down so that we need more stimulation to register the input.  

In a nutshell, some kids experience sensory input as much more intense than those around them, and they seek to avoid the heightened input. Other kids seek sensory input to find balance.  And a subset of kids may vacillate between sensory avoidant and sensory seeking.  

Why does this matter as parents?  Or as a clinician who is trying to support parents?

If a child’s sensory system is scrambling or amplifying sensory input, their behavior can seem inappropriate for the setting. They may make noises, appear restless, crashing and banging into things or people. They may also be highly reactive to situations,  and get angry and dysregulated fast.  

Dysregulation is a word I love to use. It communicates that kids are having challenges staying balanced and regulating their emotions, attention and behavior. The sensory system contributes almost constantly to a child’s regulation and balance. 

To become a sensory processing issues savvy parent, try watching your child through a sensory lens. Notice what is happening in the environment around them before and during a tantrum or challenging behavior.  Are there sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or things related to their body in space that could be triggers?  Equally important, notice when your child is calm and regulated.  What is happening then in terms of their five senses and their bodies in space?  Over time most parents recognize a pattern. And many have already noticed that trying to reason with their children when they are dysregulated is rarely successful.  That’s because both their sensory and nervous systems are often out of whack together.  

I propose trying on a new sensory lens. Gather data and notice triggers entirely in the context of sensory input. I can almost guarantee you will start to see some patterns. 

Learning to see your child and their behavior through a sensory lens does three key things:

1) In the short run-  it gives you information about what will help your child de-escalate and regulate.

2) In the long run- it builds neuropathways to help kids soothe and regulate.

3) In the forever run- it creates attachment security. 

That sounds like more win, win, win. Give it a try and tell me how it goes.  Stay tuned for my next blog about concrete ways to apply what you’ve learned about the sensory system and sensory processing issues in day to day parenting.