Creating Safe Spaces for LGBTQ+ Youth and Their Families
Think about places you feel safe. What people are there? People who look like you? Those that have similar interests? People who are like you in some way, correct?
Last week on my Real World Parenting podcast I talked with Philip Steinbacher, a teacher and cisgender gay male, about creating safe spaces for LGBTQ+ kids in schools and communities. Before we get into concrete steps you can take to help these kids feel safe, I want to stress why it is important to create safe spaces for LBGTQ+ youth and their families in your organization, school, and community.
It may seem that being a member of the LGBTQ+ community, whether through the lens of gender diversity or sexual orientation, is normalized. That we see a lot of examples of gender diverse and lesbian, gay, and bisexual people and it isn’t an issue anymore. But what Philip and I see and hear from LGBTQ+ youth is that they do not feel safe many times, that they are not recognized properly, or are mocked, whether overtly or covertly.
Even if people are not openly shaming or ridiculing, things like not using the correct pronouns, acting different, or changing a topic based on the presence of an LGBTQ+ person either makes them feel different, persecuted, or pigeon-holed. Normalizing PEOPLE should be a priority for all of us. Each person, whether aware or not, goes through a gender and sexual identity journey. This is a normal part of development. We all grow and find clarity in our internal felt sense of gender, and our romantic and sexual attractions. The only difference is that cisgender and heterosexual people are the larger percentage of the population.
So, how can we make spaces safer for LGBTQ+ youth and their families? Philip had some ideas for concrete actions that made a dramatic difference at a school where he taught. It is amazing how simple these steps can be. First, he stressed that if you are a transgender or lesbian, gay, or bisexual adult, and it is safe to do so, share that information. Make it normalized that you are who you are. When kids and teens see people like themselves, they feel more comfortable and confident, and they know they have someone they can feel safe talking to if they need or want to. When youth see people like themselves, they feel safe and included.
Other things you can do in a school or organization include:
1) Putting a rainbow sticker in your room, office, door, or on your board to let students know you support them.
2) Wear a rainbow pin to indicate to youth that you are an ally/supporter and are a safe person to talk to.
3) Indicate your pronouns in your email, on your name tag, on your door, or board.
4) Have students put their pronouns after their names on papers and communication.
5) Start or participate in a Gay Student Alliance (GSA). Philip’s experience was that many students who were not a member of the LGBTQ+ community, but were adjacent, wanted to support and learn how they could be sensitive to and stand up for people who were in that community.
6) Start an email newsletter that highlights events in your community where people who identify as, or are allies of, LGBTQ+ are gathering.
If you’d like to hear more about this topic, its importance, and the dramatic change it can have in lives, listen to my interview with Philip on the podcast on your favorite podcast channel or here.
In health,
Laura Anderson
Dr. Laura S. Anderson specializes in educating and supporting families, as well as clinicians who support transracial adoptive families, across the globe to overcome barriers, derive strength from their differences, and thrive. She is a dynamic advocate for multiracial families and a strong advocate for supporting "third culture" children and families who may need support with the stressors associated with living out of their countries of origin.
Contact Dr. Anderson here.
