Protecting Kids From Sexual Content Online and Having Hard Conversations
Last week on my podcast, I spoke with Amy Lang, MA. She has been a sexual health educator for over 25 years. Surprised by her discomfort with just the idea of talking with her young son about his body, she knew she needed help. Amy did a bunch of research to learn how to talk with kids about bodies and sexuality and realized she could help other parents with this important part of parenting. In 2006 she started Birds & Bees & Kids. With her lively, engaging, and down-to-earth style she helps parents become comfortable and confident talking with their kids. Amy’s books, online solutions center, and podcast called “Just Say This”, show parents they really can become their kids' go-to birds and bees source.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to provide your child with the skills to understand and make good decisions about their body and sex. Kids should start learning about their bodies as young as 5 years old. These conversations may be daunting, but it is important to push through the discomfort to keep your child safe.
Amy shared very poignant ideas for us about how to start these conversations with your child. She stated, "The best time to get started is when they are young." Kids are naturally curious. Talk openly, be sex-positive, discuss what a healthy relationship looks like and values in a relationship, and that sex is not for kids sex is for grown-ups. She stated that it is important to share with your children what their bathing suit parts are and how no one should ever be touching them and to tell someone if someone does. Depending on the age of the child your conversation language may change. The topic of consent should be discussed. Discuss the child will not get in trouble if they ever have questions about sex.
With the ease of internet access, it is important to talk about internet safety with a child. Let your child know that they may come across sexual images or videos and that those are not safe sites to be on. Amy recommended the use of monitoring and filtering. She used the analogy of a car seat and a seat belt. Filtering is the car seat, and monitoring is the seatbelt. The older your child gets, the less of a car seat they may need, but they will always wear a seatbelt, no matter the age. As your child ages, you will always monitor, but they may have fewer filters.
Preparation is Key. Allow for open communication. Share with your child what your values are. Explain that many people wait until marriage, some may not, and here is why. Sex is a healthy natural part of life. The better prepared and educated your child is, the less taboo the topic may become.
For more from Amy Lang, MA listen to my podcast here.
What You Will Learn:
When should you start the conversation on sexual health with your child
What should you start with? What to say and how to say it.
Push through the discomfort
Showing your children what a healthy relationship looks like
Avoiding language that leads to shame
Thank you for connecting,
Dr. Laura Anderson
Dr. Laura S. Anderson specializes in educating and supporting families, as well as clinicians who support transracial adoptive families, across the globe to overcome barriers, derive strength from their differences, and thrive. She is a dynamic advocate for multiracial families and a strong advocate for supporting "third culture" children and families who may need support with the stressors associated with living out of their countries of origin and kids navigating gender and diversity.
Contact Dr. Anderson here.
