What Gets In The Way of White People Doing Anti-Racism Work?
More stings than high-fives. That’s how I describe the process of doing anti-racism work as a White person. And before I keep writing, let me say that this piece will talk about the painful parts of doing anti-racism as a White person. It will talk about the discomfort of discovering (because many of us weren’t taught it) or being reminded that the system in the U.S. has been built for us literally by the backs of black and brown people, on stolen land. AND…this is not to center White pain in the conversation. It isn’t a “woe is me” story of how hard it is to be White in the hierarchy of racial privilege.
But it IS a candid conversation about the fact that racism is a White people problem. And we have to make internal personal changes and system changes to see changes happen in the broader society. Change in this case ranges from uncomfortable to painful. I mention in my most recent podcast, What Gets in the Way of White People Doing Anti-Racism Work with Beth Wheeler, that I remember crying myself to sleep several times in college, crushed that the world I thought I knew existed didn’t really exist for other people.
Raised in Maine, I hadn’t had to think about my Whiteness much. In college, I listened to the stories of friends and classmates of color (thank you again for taking time to walk me through my cluelessness) and I felt gut-punched, as if a rug had been yanked from underneath my feet.
It didn’t seem right that the world would be unfair enough to have impacted their lives and their family’s lives the way they described. I watched how differently I was treated in public than my Black and brown friends and I experienced first-hand White people’s distinct disdain and anger directed toward other people who break the code. I was spit on. Twice. Stopped by police. Ignored. Loudly ridiculed, just for being in mixed-race company in public. In New England! And while college was not yesterday for me, it was not THAT long ago.
And many of the White people I knew well thought I was “making a big deal out of” what I was coming to understand. Or in the clumsiness of new knowledge and/or anger of all the injustice, I was too animated in my confrontations with White folks, who seemed to think I thought I had all the answers. I didn’t.
In the past thirty years I have made countless mistakes trying to figure out how to get anti-racism work “right.” Embarrassing ones. I have felt guilty, ignorant, defensive, anxious, angry, jealous, furious, scared, disappointed, defeated, misjudged, and lonely, to name a few.
I point this out not for “chops” or sympathy. I name it with the hope that if you too are a White person who is committed to doing anti-racism work, and it is uncomfortable, or even painful, I invite you to stick with it. As with all uncomfortable feelings, when they are for the “right” reasons, when we invite them in, observe them, share them, and sit with them, they eventually wane. The stings fade. And we learn.
It is human nature to want to avoid what is uncomfortable, keep the status quo, and quietly accepting our unearned privilege will feel more comfortable. Homeostasis is less stressful than taking risks.
Yet, inaction on our parts means more of the same division and injustice while systemically supported active harm is done to others. More than ever we have the tools to challenge the status quo, work to learn about our Whiteness, and take concrete steps to living anti-racist lives.
Many people I know are committed to living anti-racist lives but aren’t always sure what to do. Here are some places to start and/or continue the work.
1. Find other White people doing this work. Notice your temptation to try to get Black and brown people to do the teaching for you. (SURJ is a great place to start)
2. Join public protests
3. Make calls to elected officials
4. Vote in local elections- actively look for folks with anti-racist platforms
5. Don’t spend your money at business that support the status quo, and/or anti-Black policies
6. Spend your money on Black and brown business (Shop Black Owned, Black Business Greenbook)
7. Read White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo
8. Read Nice White Ladies by Jessie Daniels
9. Read Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad (great workbook here)
10. Follow social media commentators and media sources and listen (Blavity, the Grio, The Root). Just read the threads and listen
11. Follow EmbraceRace Color-Brave Early Childhood Community on Facebook for anti-racism parenting tips
12. Subscribe to my podcast for tips and scripts for parents on roads less traveled
13. Listen to anti-racism podcasts like Be Antiracist with Ibram X. Kendi
14. When you notice yourself thinking “Well, what about….” Stop. Listen more.
Dr. Laura Anderson
P.S. Want to learn about talking to kids about racism. Listen to my video “What do talking with kids about racism and playing with kids in traffic have in common” here.
Dr. Laura S. Anderson specializes in educating and supporting families, as well as clinicians who support transracial adoptive families, across the globe to overcome barriers, derive strength from their differences, and thrive. She is a dynamic advocate for multiracial families and a strong advocate for supporting "third culture" children and families who may need support with the stressors associated with living out of their countries of origin.
Contact Dr. Anderson here.
