Supporting Black Kids in White Neighborhoods and Talking to Kids About Race
Last week on my blog post I talked with Marcie Alvis Walker, a writer based in Chicago, IL. She is the curator of the popular Instagram handle @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends, which focuses on race, theology, and current events with a corresponding blog of the same name. She is also the writer and creator of Black-Eyed Bible Stories, a Substack newsletter and podcast focused on Black Womanist readings of the Bible. Her goal in life is “to be the voice of my unheard ancestors by creating a written archive of the Black stories for my child and for future generations of children”. She is passionate about what it means to embrace intersectionality, diversity and inclusion in our daily lives.
As a child she grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and as a parent raises her bi-racial kids in a predominantly white neighborhood. Because of her experiences she is passionate about helping parents learn how to help black kids in predominantly white environments and how to talk to kids about race.
She had some very poignant ideas for us about how kids experience their world. Children are naturally very curious. Most parents will remember the age of whys. Why is the sky blue? Why do trees grow up? Why don’t we float away?
The answers may include: because blue light scatters better than the other colors of light, because trees need sunlight and their strong cell structures support growing tall to get light, and the earth has gravity because of its mass or size.
What if your child asks, why do people have different skin color? Or why are there black people and white people, brown-skinned people, and light skinned people?
Would your answer be, because we have pigment in our skin and people from different places have more or less pigment to protect them from the sun?
What if your child asks, why don’t many people at my school look like me? What do you say then?
In addition to being curious, kids are creative. If they aren’t given answers they write their own narrative. The narrative could be, people like me don’t belong here, or I am rare, different, or strange. If we avoid subjects, kids tend to think there is something bad or negative associated with the topic.
It is important to talk about race and your community and help kids see people like themselves, and people of different races in many roles in their environment.
Some tips for achieving this include:
Being factual about race and race history in your area, city, and country based on age and maturity.
Including people of color in your environment. This can be seeking out professionals of color as doctors, dentists, teachers, administrators, business owners, and leaders.
Taking part in organizations with people of color including churches, sport activities, cultural activities, and community activities.
Being a role model and advocate for equality in your community.
Being an example, ally, and advocate for your child.
Whether you are a person of color or not, being an advocate or ally can be a challenging position. And it can be uncomfortable to be in environments where you are a minority. But being an example for our kids may be one of the most powerful things they see in their world.
A few of my favorite lines from our podcast include:
There is a real risk to figure out how to say and do more. Feel empowered by speaking the truth, questioning the status quo, encouraging people to think about things that haven’t been discussed.
“When you’re used to privilege, equality feels like a loss.”
If you are going to stand up you are going to have to tolerate discomfort.
For more from Marcie Alvis Walker listen to my podcast here.
Thank you for connecting,
Dr. Laura Anderson
Dr. Laura S. Anderson specializes in educating and supporting families, as well as clinicians who support transracial adoptive families, across the globe to overcome barriers, derive strength from their differences, and thrive. She is a dynamic advocate for multiracial families and a strong advocate for supporting "third culture" children and families who may need support with the stressors associated with living out of their countries of origin and kids navigating gender and diversity.
Contact Dr. Anderson here.
